when my heart speaks

Sometimes, i just don't understand why some guys nowadays, happens to get to know other girls as soon as they already broke up with their ex. it's not as if if it is one month later or so. it can just be the next minute, the next hour or even the next day! what does this suppose to mean? Does this mean that they are unable to resist having girls to entertain them day and night? And when being asked, all they can answer is that they feel lonely, they need companionship, they need someone to be there n bla bla bla bla... Must it be a new girl friend? can't it be the existing ones? Ya, the more the merrier. But on the other side, other people might look at you as someone who just can't live without girls. Get to know here and there, send msges in facebook or watever network you have, get their number n all which will all end up, meeting each and everyone of them just to know whether they are compatible to be their girlfriend so that they wont feel lonely, they wont feel this n that. oh crap.

When we girls, i mean some girls, will always wana be alone. dont even bother to get to know other guys. we just cant be bothered. you will see us move ahead after some time, not the next minute or the day after.

Sometimes, i just simply hate man. After what i've been through all this while, i really had enough of those ill-treatments.i would just want someone who can treat me well, take really good care of me and who have confidence in what we are doing. i don't want someone who can only say that they can take care of me but after that have me in their hands, they take things for granted. i just hate it so much. it makes me feel scared to have another person in my life.

Enough of tears, enough of heart pain, enough of having little squabbles, enough of everything.

Hopefully, everything will go well after this. i wanna take a breather. i wanna open a fresh new page and its gonna be a fresh new me.. =)

Been reaching home late from work these few weeks. what can i say, our grand opening is just in a few hours time. More n more calls coming in, more n more reservations need to be done. 2561 rooms, what do u expect? the latest i reached home from work is at 1am. it doesnt make any difference if my shft is from 8am-6pm or 9am-7pm or 11am-9pm. i will still be going home late. Never been going home on time. the thing is that, we cant have any pending reservations. whatever emails there are, we have to clear it by hook or by crook. Like for example just now, had 50 over emails to be responded and that was already 7+pm. over my shift time already. so had to stay back with the rest of my team to finish it up. end up, we left work at around 10.30pm. Damn shagged. but still, i love what im doing. We will just have to keep the information at our fingertips and things will go well.

i don't know how long i can stay in this industry but all i know, im persevering until it is stable. that's when life will be easier on me. probably will stay til it is established for years? maybe? i don't know. we'll see how it goes. But i know,its gonna be hectic after 23rd June 2010 as all of the rooms are open. I can assure you that there will be more than just 50 emails. it can be 100 or more emails. it is good that more people are coming in so there will be less burden. I hope they will join us quick as it is getting busier n busier as days pass by.

no matter what happens, i will still continue with what im doing even tho i have to tire myself out just becoz of work. When there's passion, nothing matters. =)

Many things happened lately for the past few days, few weeks. I just couldn't place my my words properly to have people understand what I'm trying to say. Yes, I've been moving on solo and yes I still need to adapt to it after having myself being pampered by someone for a year. Everything now has to be done alone. People been asking me how i cope with it. I didn't say much but just to smile. Basically spend most of my time at work and when i'm done, i'll head home and rest. Time passes just like that.

People has been asking me whether do i still think of him. Yes, i still do. Wondering how he's like out there and what he has been doing and how he has been coping in life. I know i'll just have to move forward. I admit that i made mistakes here and there too. But as for now, I just feel that I need to be by myself once again and catch up things which i used to leave behind. Picking up those little things that are left behind.

How i wish i could go somewhere quiet which has a nice view to just keep my mind at peace and calm as i've been confused all this while.

He who used to call me often,

he who used to be there when i needed him,

he who used to wipe my tears away when i'm with him,

he who used to bring me to the bowling alley to brush up on my skills,

he who used to bring me back to his home which i called my 2nd home,

he who used to pick me up from work,

he who used to scold me for the things that i did wrong,

he who used to pamper me,

he who used to be my bestfriend,

and he, who used to love me with all his heart.

but i just feel that life has to move on. so i guess that i'm now back to square one, having the same kind of darkness without the stars in my life. He chooses to disappear instead of us being friends like how we used to be when we first know each other. I just don't understand why we can't be friends.

i guess by now, he has already forgotten me.

If you are reading this, i just want u to know that i still do think of you even after you decided to "disappear" yourself from my life.

Till then, take care~

Oh gosh, it has been quite a long time ever since i last update my blog. There are quite a number of things that happen for the past few weeks. Cant probably recap everything right now. Maybe i'll just mention some of it here. So here it goes...

First thing first, went bowling with baby and his family which includes his uncle and some of his mom's friends. We played at Safra Mount Faber. Am now soo in love with that place. I am soo happy and proud of myself that i managed to get a high score for bowling yesterday. Didnt expect to get that score though. Initially he only bet with me to get 140 but end up i gave him 170. HAHA! I have improved i guess. Im sure baby is proud of me. =)

N Oh! i "reformat" my laptop on my own already. Yes, it is my first time doing it by myself. The reason why is that, the it helpdesk is busy reformatting students' laptops and they actually advised me to come early in the morning around 8.30am to queue which is sooo wasting of my time. Thought of upgrading it to Windows 7 but never mind. Now, there's no more slow moments with laptop. Everything is fast speed now, i loike!

Secondly, its about work. Well, started my career life with Marina Bay Sands on 1st of March. Started out with 1 month of training and after which, I will be live on the phone. It is really hectic as there's a lot of things to learn, especially when it comes to the system. It is sooo irritating and it really make our life miserable. Some of my colleagues who used to be in the hotel line said that using OPERA system is way easier than what we are learning now. Well, what can i say. We use the same system that Las Vegas use. But after a while, i managed to get the hang of it. Ever since i started working, i always have to sleep early. If not, I will be damn sleepy the next day. Now my sleeping time will be at around 10.30pm or 11.30pm. No more staying up late at night. Poor darling that I dont even have much time to spend with him on the phone and also after work. Surely I will try my best to accompany him when Im free. Well, what people always say "absence makes the heart grows fonder". Don't worry baby, im sure everything will run smoothly. Have faith. =)

Next is about friends. Recently, me and baby went to Tasneem's birthday party at Amirali's Grill. The food was totally delicious I swear. Maybe i shall go there with my darling. Talking about food, I really miss eating Popeye's. Will go there pretty soon with cuki. Back to the topic. Went to tas's party after work. So at that point of time, i really feel sooo tired and sleepy. Gotta leave early coz i was damn tired and what more, my parents. I would love to stay longer but what to do. Sorry k Tas and before i forget, i would like to wish you Happy 21st birthday!

Haiz, sometimes, i just wonder why some friends are afraid to back up their friendship. They can only nod their heads to others and let their friends feel shitty. Everything is getting loosened up already. Even I will feel awkward. Just because of 1 person, everything collapsed. Well, i will just wait and see. I don't want to be the one who will always have to approach others. I'm sick and tired of it. From now on, i will just stay back n see who are the ones who leave and who are the ones who will stay. As for my sweetheart Shima, we will meet up soon ok? I'm missing u already. Perhaps we can go for double date again yea? That if both our bfs are available like the other time. Also, hope u get the job at the place where u applied for.

Well, that's all for now.. Will update more in time to come. ToodlesS!

it's my first time going johor with my bf.

but we went here with my sis n nephew since that parents are away from spore since Saturday.

intention was that sis wanna buy selendang to sell out to her friends.

we were there just to accompany her and since that my darling is free, i asked him to tag along too..

We went there during the noon as me, sis n nephew reached home quite late the day before as we went to ECP since that there's a gathering there with my eldest sister's in laws.

planned to head to bowling after buying all the stuffs but sad that it was packe since it's during holiday.

so we decided to accompany baby to shop. he bought 2 PUMA shoes and 2 shades.  

i didnt get anything for myself as i don't have any list to buy yet.

Afterwhich we went to sis house to rest and then mom called saying that they are on the way home.

so all of us had to rush home.pity boyfie that he have to carry the stuffs back home wen riding.

luckily he reached home safely. sorry dear cant help u carry the stuff back to ur home.

but i simply hope that u had fun with us today and hopefully we can o johor again someday..  =)